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Been awhile. Things have been busy. And not the regular busy that we all use as an excuse once in our lives, things have actually been busy.

My life is changing. Drastically. I feel slightly out of control, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I feel like my life is about to be flipped upside down, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I really am so unsure of what is to come. I am taking a big leap of faith and you know how they say ‘Look before you leap!’ well I have looked and its exciting and scary all at the same time. Not really sure if its good or bad, but I am doing it.

Have you ever taken a leap of faith on something big before?

Leave your comments or advice below – I would love to hear them

Life; it’s paths, it’s doors and it’s roadblocks.

Life. It’s a funny thing that there are no answers to the million questions that come up. How frustrating is that?

Life is full of what ifs? Different paths and doors and roadblocks. Every day you are faced with a million questions, from simple ones like what to eat for breakfast to complicated ones that will affect you long term and take you in an entirely different direction that you started in. 

My path is going in a very different direction right now, but it’s very unclear because there are so many ways my path can go and so many uncertainties. I am extremely excited for the opportunities that will come of this, but I am extremely scared of the road it will take to get to those opportunities. Very hard rocky road that actually may have a number of road blocks. 

We are all faced with those types of tribulations. I do have options that are are still great opportunities, not quite as good maybe but they come with sacrifice. Well all my options do I suppose. Ugh.

This is a challenge in itself. I challenge I accept.

What challenge are you facing today?

Family Matters

I am blessed to have a big family. At least that is the way I feel. Some people may feel too big means too much, but can you ever have too much family? Maybe, I don’t know, but what I do know is that I feel blessed to have such a large family. 

I have 3 older sisters, 2 brother-in-laws,2 older ‘brothers’ 6 nephews and 1 niece. Now I put ‘brothers’ in quotations marks because they are not biological brothers nor were they adopted by my parents. My two brothers parents both died along with their guardians at different stages in their lives. But they have been in my life for as long as I can remember and their family was very close to my family. So they merged into ours. They are my brothers. What makes someone family? Blood? A piece of paper? I don’t think so. They are my brothers, they are in my life, we share our ups and downs, holidays together, they are my brothers and I love them like brothers  – and they can annoy me like brothers too! 🙂

My family is close. We enjoy spending time together and often have family dinners still even though we have all grown up and begun our own lives. Growing up we have dinner at the table together, and Sunday night we sat at the nice fancy dinning room table. We grew up fairly traditionally so to speak. 

As all families do, we have had our ups and downs, but I have never stopped being grateful towards them and loving them, even when they annoy the crap out of me which they do … a lot. 

My nephews and niece – wow, I never thought I could love like that before. My 1 sister has 5 children and my other sister has 2. Yes I know 5. and Yes, she does know what is causing it. Her husband comes from a family of 9 children. They like big families. They love children, hence having a 5, 4, 3, 2 and 12 week old. All 7 of them, have got to be the cutest, funniest, most amazing things in the world. I could cuddle up and play with them all day (unless they are crabby). I asked my one nephew who is 3 if I was cool. His response was ‘No, you’re pretty’ ….. I will take that backhanded compliment because I just can’t help but love his extremely curly blonde hair and big eyes.

Whenever I walk into the house, i yell out ‘Your favourite Aunty is here!” and they come running yelling my name out. I say who wants to give me a hug first, and some, not all, run to give me a hug. I could be in the worst mood and they always make me smile. The things they do, they say, their hugs and smiles … it truly takes my breath away and in those moments, I can’t help but smile. 

I love those kids more than I ever thought I could love anything. I want nothing but amazing things for them, and I would go to great lengths to protect them and ensure they only know greatness – but appreciate it and realize others are not so fortunate. 

I am fortunate. I am so very fortunate and I am thankful for my life and my family. 

I want hugs and kisses now from them … good thing I will get to see them lots this Easter weekend

Happy Easter everyone (to those that celebrate it) Enjoy, and enjoy your time with your family if you are doing so. 

 

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and enjoyed every moment with friends and family. All the best through the holiday season. Prayers to those who have lost a loved one at this time and anyone suffering in anyway

If only I could offer more …

First and foremost, before I blog about this;

My deepest sympathy goes towards all the families and friends who were so terribly involved with the shootings in Newtown. Words just cannot express how horrible this tragedy was and I truly hope, pray, wish whatever … that the families and friends are able to find strength in their loved ones and find peace in their hearts. I really wish there was something I could do. If anyone reading this knows someone who was unfortunate to lose a loved one – my heart, prays, thoughts are with you.

There is a big Hoax out right now about a quote from Morgan Freeman (please note, it was not said by Morgan Freeman, nor do I know who said it) But the thing is, they said it pretty darn well. My co-worker and I were having that exact conversation about how the media glorifies the villain. It is true. The media makes such a big deal about the person who did it – huge catchy headlines fill our news reports and papers. They even get nicknames and become ‘famous’. Someone who is mentally unstable and so upset enough to do such heinous crimes, usually struggles with the feeling of not being loved/unwanted/unrecognized so why not make yourself known. There are always copycats or someone trying to out do someone else. Here in Canada we recently had a man dismember someone else. After that there were 3 (that I heard of) dismemberment’s.

Tragedies will always happen. It’s an unfortunate reality in our world. Stop glorifying it. Stop making the villain to be someone to remember. Remember the children. Focus on that and pay no attention to the person who does it. THEY DON’T DESERVE our attention. Mental state or not. I am not saying hate them or ignore the sadness that it brought to their family. Because even the villains have loved ones too that have to deal with the fact that their loved one did such a crime and died as well (in some cases died)

The problem isn’t necessarily gun control. Yes, I am sure if there were stricter laws that most incidents wouldn’t happen or be quite severe. But it’s still the person. The mental state they are in when it happens. Focus on Mental Health Issues, focus on security, focus on not glorifying the villains.

Lack of gun control wasn’t the reason behind the stabbings in China the exact same day as the shootings in Newtown. Anyone hear about that? No, it wasn’t blasted all over the news quite like the happenings in Newtown. But a man stabbed almost 20 children there. I don’t know the details of the story so do not quote me on my facts. I do not know if anyone died. I hope everyone is OK.

I could blog for a long time about this tragedy. I wish I could say a lot. But words just cannot explain what I am feeling, what the world is feeling and most importantly – what the families and friends that are feeling during this time.

Focus on the victims. Remember them.

Again, my thoughts and prayers go out to every family member and friends of the ones that were lost on Friday. Remember the amazing time you had with them and all the smiles they brought to you. Find it in your heart, your friends and family the strength that you CAN and WILL make it through this hard time. The whole world is behind you

Honeymoon Rose

(I had originally posted this last week, but for some strange reason, it did not post, so I am re-writing it, with hopes it is at least half as good as the first one. Be nice followers and readers)

Love – can you define it? Can you really understand what it is and when you are in love? Studies say you don’t fall in love with someone until about 4-6 months after dating (*side-note*I love studies, haha some of them are just such a crock of bs and you wonder how these studies are conducted – more on that in another blog I think.. moving on). Before then it’s just lust or infatuation. Which makes sense because that is also considered the honeymoon stage – after that comes the sweatpants, no makes up, burps, farts and our ‘true-lovable-selves’.

That being said – This whole Bachelor/Bachelorette thing. It is so unrealistic. I have only ever watched 3 maybe 4 episodes of the entire Series. Most recently this latest Canada’s bachelor episode (the final one)

I often make fun of or get annoyed with little teenagers (and some early 20 years olds) about how they are so ‘in love’ when they have only been dating for a couple weeks (sometimes days)  they are not in love. Now we have grown, mature adults, that should know better – IT’S NOT LOVE. You have only been with the guy/girl for approximately 2 months.

Let’s add in the fact that they are going on DREAM DATES planned out so well, and so perfectly for adventures, good times, & entertainment. No awkward ‘So dinner and movie again tonight babe?’

Now add in the fact that he/she has also been with other suitors for the last 2 months as well.

lastly, add in that they are also ‘falling in love’ with those other suitors.

Correct me if I am wrong, but if you are truly in love with someone – you can’t be in love with someone else. It’s not true, it’s not real, it’s not fair. I am truly and deeply in love with my boyfriend (we have been together for over a year, so it’s legit y’all) and the thought of being with someone else, or in love with someone else, it’s not possible in my mind. I couldn’t imagine kissing someone else, having sex, poking fun of, laughing, wearing my sweatpants, and all the other joys of being in a relationship – doing that with someone else. I don’t want to. Plus, I have been cheated on in the past and I could never make someone I love feel that way. It hurts. It hurts bad.

Yes – I know there are Polygamists out there who believe you can love and marry more than one person – to each their own. But I HIGHLY doubt, and I am willing to bet, all those Bachelors/Bachelorettes – are not Polygamists. Therefore, my point stands 🙂

So, this whole honeymoon stage that all these suitors are in. Most times everyone just seems so perfect. They find the most attractive men and women for this show – which makes you wonder why they are single if they are so darn good looking and seemingly perfect, and of course the 1 starring in the show is a millionaire. That being said (and this goes for the show Millionaire Matchmaker as well) most times the Millionaire Bachelor/Bachelorette can’t find love because they keep finding people who are trying to use them or love their money/fame. Well gosh darn-it – lets help these poor folks out and create a show of perfection where they can find their one true love on NATIONAL TELEVISION. This will for sure attract only the most suitable candidates who are not at all looking for their 10 minutes of fame *cough Whitney cough*. Not a single person applying to be hooked up with a millionaire will be a gold digger or fame seeking whore *cough* Whitney *Cough*   ………. No wonder they are millionaires – they are geniuses.

I know these are huge shows, and I will probably get a lot of hate for bashing it. Well, it’s my opinion. I don’t enjoy those shows because of the unrealistic nature of them and the way woman are crazy on the show and make us all seem crazy (and I can say this because apparently Canadians now know how Italians felt when Jersey Shore came out and they were representing Italians and the culture… embarrassing). I don’t enjoy watching catty women and men, and drama. I never got into any of those shows, Big Brother, Bachelor Pad, The Real Housewives (tell me what exactly is ‘real’ about them?) and so on. I did enjoy The Hills somewhat when Lauren Conrad was on it, because I enjoyed watching her career blossom .. i would just fast forward through Heidi and Spencer (which was funny because by the end of it I didn’t know who the big boobed, big lipped, plastic thing was – apparently it was Heidi).

Oh Reality Shows. It seems like that is all there is.

I really do hope all those attractive boys and girls find love the real way soon.

Screw stuck in the middle, I’m stuck in the past!

Don’t dwell on the past! The past is the past! The past is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift.

There is lots to say about the past and so many reasons to continue to keep your back to it. But the fact is, the past is YOUR past. YOUR journey in life. It is a part of who you are TODAY and TOMORROW. Never forget that.

I know I struggle with that. Sometimes I can’t seem to forget, or let go of the past. Even when I have every reason to forget it and move past it. It’s hard. Plus, the fact that I am a very curious person, I often think of what could have been, or where certain people are from my past.

I can be the the happiest place in my life (which right now, I think I am pretty damn close) and I will still ponder about my past adventures, relationships and experiences. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Sometimes you can learn a lot about yourself when you look back and think about something or someone from years ago. And I often do.

I definitely don’t think you need to LIVE in the past and act as if things haven’t changed, but don’t forget it. Embrace it.

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